I remember todays date (yesterday) ..51 years ago..like I remember last week.
President John F. Kennedy, everyones hero at the time, was murdered by gun shots in Dallas Texas.
I couldn't go straight home that afternoon and instead..went to a movie..a movie about a deaf and dumb girl who eventually connected to the real world..(Helen Keller) played by actress (Patty Duke).
I don't know why I didn't want to go home that day..maybe it was an excuse ...or something... I was 23 year old...
Four years later..I left that home for good...I left a wife and three children..but really..I only left my wife....
I do not regret not going straight home after work that day..But I do regret not sharing my grief and confusion with my children...in the moment....... and/or actually, with anyone else.
Somehow, that long ago day.. was a pivotal moment for me which even today, has ramifications.
I still feel guilty about that day even though.. I wasn't the one who got shot by Lee Harvey Oswald.
I did go home that evening and spent the next 3 days in a myopic TV stupor with the rest of America.. watching the aftermath of such violence ...And I do recall snuggling with my babies at the time and being grateful for their safety.
I wish now that I could have cried at the time...
I still wish I could cry for that day.
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